Updated September 2026: in July 2019, after I explained to my manager why some review comments did not fit the storyline, he revealed the real reason behind his escalation: the offshore lead had called him privately to say I had ignored his comments. I have rewritten it into advice on handling complaints that reach you through your manager.
I gave my manager my reasons: some comments depended on the onsite team, and some slides did not fit the storyline the onsite team had set. At first he insisted all comments be addressed that day. When he accepted the comments were irrelevant, he explained why he had escalated. After the call, the offshore delivery lead had phoned him directly and said I had not addressed any of his comments or found the slides he needed.
Why do people complain through your manager?
Sometimes to avoid a direct conflict, sometimes to put pressure on, and sometimes because they believe the manager is the right channel. Whatever the reason, it means your side has not been heard yet, and the complaint arrives without context.
How should you respond to your manager?
Calmly and with specifics, as I did: which comments were addressed, which depended on others, which conflicted with the agreed storyline. Ask your manager what exactly was said, so you respond to the actual complaint rather than a summary of it.
Should you confront the person who complained?
Talk to them, but do not confront. A short conversation, "I understand you had concerns about the comments; can we go through them together?", often resolves more than an exchange through managers. It also signals that you would prefer issues raised directly next time.
How do you prevent it happening again?
- Keep a comment tracker and share it after every review.
- Confirm in writing which comments were deferred and why.
- Ask reviewers to raise disagreements with you first, before escalating.
What should your manager do?
Ideally, hear your side before escalating. If that did not happen, it is reasonable to ask, calmly, that in future they check with you first. Most managers agree once they have seen how much context the original complaint left out.
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